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Walking Ix (ee`sh):
In the Mayan Oracle, Ix represents "integrity, heart-knowing, alignment with divine will, magician, shaman, jaguar, night seer, priest, torch bearer, magic." When I asked the Oracle what Star-Glyph represented my purpose in this website, Ix was the answer.
Holding fast to the qualities of Ix, this journal chronicles my spiritual path. On the path, I will occasionally write organized essays on spiritual subjects, those will appear under Pieces below.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
wholeness
I originally planned this to be a place to post my spiritual thoughts that would make them easier to archive. It was also supposed to give people the chance to follow my spiritual musing without having to read about my daily life or my "adult" activities. That ends now. This journal is no longer "active" -- though I'll probably keep it here for awhile as an archive for mysElf.
I'm working through some significant spiritual philosophies and practices right now. I'm immersed in them. They are a part of my daily life and a part of my "adult" activities and the power relationship I have with boy. They are not "separate" from anything and I will no longer pretend a boundary that doesn't exist.
My journal can be found at http://unsuspecteddepth.blogspot.com and on the LJ mirror site at http://www.livejournal.com/~dsrtmyst/.
walk in peace & love
posted by DM # @ 10:53
Thursday, May 26, 2005
The Right Questions
The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions to Guide You to an Extraordinary Life by Debbie Ford:
I haven't read this book. I picked it up at the library sometime in April and skimmed through it. The questions themselves seemed so straightforward to me that I didn't feel the need to read a chapter explaining each one. I understand the power of choice and I grok that how we frame our choices determines our decision which in turn shape our lives. It's an important concept and one I'd started working before I found the book. I plan to reflect on each of the questions individually over the next week or two. For now, I want to post them as a list:
- Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
- Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
- Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
- Am I looking for what's right or am I loking for what's wrong?
- Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
- Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
- Does this choice empower me or does it disempower?
- Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
- Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
- Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?
As I posted on my Journal, every choice matters -- whether it's what to buy at the grocery store or when to apply for a job. Asking ourselves if it's about the future, fulfillment, power, "right" action, growth, empowerment, love, faith, and divinity can lead us to make better choices. I just need to get myself to use these questions throughout my day.
posted by DM # @ 13:10
Friday, May 06, 2005
a few quotes I rediscovered
"Most of our ideas about who we are and what we are like come from outside of ourselves.We react to these ideas, accepting or rebelling against them, acting them out.We get so attached to these projected attributes that we don't leave room to change and grow.It is wise to examine who we think we are, where we got that idea, and to question whether it serves us to continue with that idea. We have a choice." -- Lenedra J Carroll, The Architecture of All Abundance: Creating a Successful Life in the Material World
"We waste a lot of energy wondering who we can trust, what we can trust them with, and recovering from being betrayed.Butare the person you really need to trust. You can trust everyone if you can trust yourself." -- Lenedra J Carroll, The Architecture of All Abundance: Creating a Successful Life in the Material World,
"People will be who they are.We can count on it.They will always be acting out their fears, limitations, hopes, and dreams.If we trust our own judgment, choices, healing ability, and self-honesty, we become free of the need to make others "behave" so we can feel safe." -- Lenedra J Carroll, The Architecture of All Abundance: Creating a Successful Life in the Material World
"To love is to unreservedly seize life, and not to do so is to choose death." -- Lenedra J Carroll, The Architecture of All Abundance: Creating a Successful Life in the Material World
can you tell I liked this book???
posted by DM # @ 11:33
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Recognizing limits
I failed to realize that I was limiting my options yet again. With the loss of my job and the generous severance package, I knew I had the opportunity to create a better working life for mysElf. I tried to remain open to non-traditonal options and to hold to the truth that I deserve a healthy, enjoyable, worthwhile job and workplace. I was, however, telling mysElf that I would have to look for jobs within a certain skillset and salary level, based on my previous work experience.
I realized this morning that I was doing that -- setting limits for mysElf where I don't want them. It's BS to think I can only work as an Admin Asst and only make the same amount I've made in the past.
There is no reason that I can't ask the Universe for a flexible, enjoyable, challenging position in a healthy (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), open work environment at $XXK. I don't have to compromise mysElf. My needs are just as important as that of any employer. My goals for my household deserve the best resources and opportunities. Why should I limit what I ask for simply because society says "you can only expect to make $25K and only do this type of office work?"
Society has rarely been honest with me. I don't have to be Xtian. I don't have to be heterosexual. I don't have to be married. I don't have to have children. I don't have to have only one partner. I don't have to live in a egalitarian personal relationship. I don't have to stay in the same neighborhood as my family and live out my life where they lived theirs. I don't have to believe "society" when it tells me what kind of job I'm qualified to look at or what salary I'm going to get -- that will be between mysElf and whatever employer I decide is offering me a worthwhile job experience.
If I want to live the way I believe, then I have to remove *all* the limits I've placed on my thinking over the years.
posted by DM # @ 09:35
Sunday, November 28, 2004
another month gone
I let another month pass without posting my weekly reports. There has been some progess made on clearing the clutter in my life. At the APEX bazaar on Monday, we managed to sell two books and an IPP and give away a number of other things. We brought home about half of what we took, and with an added book that someone gave me. We have three or four boxes/crates of books and other items to give away/sell as well as a closet full of old electronics to give away (not worth the effort to try sell them as old as they are). boy has been clearing stuff out of the kitchen that he can't eat due to his allergies or that we don't want and giving them to neighbors if they are still good. We bought a DVD recorder yesterday and that should help us replace several decades worth of video tape with smaller, higher quality DVDs -- and, yes, I do plan to dump the stuff I never watched after taping it, so there will be less of a library, not just a physically smaller library. I'm also going to pull my CD collection and identify the actual songs I like so that boy can burn some "various artist" CDs and I can give away/sell the originals.
I had hoped to be further along in the clearing/organizing process. I just keep reminding myself that it is a process, not a one-time fix-it project. As long as I continue to make progress, no matter how small, I'm meeting my goal. I have no deadlines, no expectations, just a plan of what the next step will be when I complete this one. I am going to stop trying to record it here. The weekly reports helped me get started, but now that I am moving forward, it is a burden. Clearing the clutter includes habits, behaviors, and expectations/promises as much as it means the physical junk in my living environment. So I am letting go of that as well.
posted by DM # @ 08:53
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Progress Report -- October
Well, the month got away from me. I remember accomplishing a few things on October 2nd before my car died. On the 3rd we waited all day for the mechanic who finally told us it was better to trade it in than fix it. So, the next five days were spent with a rental car and visiting dealerships. Since I've always driven automatic, boy is teaching me to drive stick. However, between his work schedule and the necessary household errands, I've only had three lessons. And after such intense internet research regarding the car for a week, I was definitely burned out. The result is no updates here and no new posts to My Journal.
Some accomplishments (in no particular order):
- purchased a few racks and holders to organize various items
- purchased a much-needed dresser for the bedroom
- purchased a computer stand that we are using as a "entry center" for keys, loose items, briefcase, etc.
- purchased a few more jars for storing incense
- completely labeled and organized all the incense in the house and relocated their storage to a central, accessible location
- cataloged a crate of books to give away and started plans for a "book exchange" party that will also help us clear out some CDs and videos
- cleared several boxes labeled "to be filed"
- spent most of the 30th cataloging, labeling, and redistributing files between three file drawers (this merges boy's filing system with mine for the first time)
- boy spent most of yesterday clearing his office stuff, including:
- finding a place to hang "how to be an artist" poster that was sitting on the floor
- sorting through one or two boxes of his "to be filed" stuff
- re-organizing our various supplies of papers, folders, and binders
- re-organizing some of the storage in the office closet
- clearing some of the clutter from surfaces/floor in the office
- re-arranged some of the bookcase shelves to make room for library books, & books we're currently reading so that they are not stacked throughout the house
- purchased a CD holder to store CDs in the car (the new car has a CD player!)
- designated one magazine holder for "Action" items and designated a place for it to live in the office
- shredded or trashed two garbage bags of junk mail and useless papers (mine & boy's) and doubled our supply of draft paper
- boy cleared the dining table, cleaned some very nasty pet stains from the carpet, took apart a pet-destroyed bookcase, and made use of crate storage so that we have designated kitchen overflow, a place for storing bottled water, three shelves to be used wherever we need them, and can now use our dining table for every meal again!
The plan for today includes (after a driving lesson) moving the new dresser into the bedroom and re-distributing clothing, linens, and IPPs,* and spending a little more time on the office.
My goal is to return to the weekly progress reports starting next weekend.
*IPP = Instruments of Pain & Pleasure
posted by DM # @ 18:16
Sunday, October 03, 2004
There's more than shedding going on
A little update so that you know it's not all about shedding in my spiritual development...in the last 4-6 weeks I've taken some steps to get more spiritually centered, including:
- read "Way of the Peaceful Warrior"
- purchased two books on auras, finished one and am starting the second
- read a little of "Urban Shaman" which is a book boy purchased
- have organized the various incense and placed burners throughout the house so that we can burn incense at least twice a day (preferrably constantly) no matter what room we're in
- stopped watching television in the morning, instead using incense and "new age" music to help me wake up before work
- located a poster of "Mayan Oracle" cards that I saw years ago and would like to buy and frame for the bedroom (it took some doing as it was listed on many, many sites in search engines, but only one still has it available)
I have also been working on my mental process of staying present and living with intent. I have applied this at work so that I don't get sucked into the dramas of my co-workers and so that I can more efficiently juggle doing two jobs at the same time. I've encouraged boy to do the same and have helped him reframe problems at his work so that he can approach them from a more grounded and calmer place.
Overall, I think we are both more grounded and happier than we have been since we've been together. We are handling conflict with each other much better and sparking spiritual and personal growth (are they really separate things??) in each other in a way that can only spiral each of us further.
posted by DM # @ 11:08
Progress log: September 25 - October 1
- purchased four more containers for storing incense
- noted other possible storage purchases for organization
- checked out a number of library books on organizations, time management/procrastination and "simple living"
- finished one book on organizing, started another, and have a "simple living" book ongoing
- put two more books on hold with the library since the available copies were at far away branches
- spoke with boy on the importance of the upcoming reorganization of the house
- took copious notes on the books as I read them
- made a decision not to take action until I've read at least three books, since each have different approaches and ideas
- discussed a few *possibilities* with boy so that he could begin formulating his own ideas
posted by DM # @ 11:07
Pieces
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