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Walking Ix (ee`sh):
In the Mayan Oracle, Ix represents "integrity, heart-knowing, alignment with divine will, magician, shaman, jaguar, night seer, priest, torch bearer, magic." When I asked the Oracle what Star-Glyph represented my purpose in this website, Ix was the answer.
Holding fast to the qualities of Ix, this journal chronicles my spiritual path. On the path, I will occasionally write organized essays on spiritual subjects, those will appear under Pieces below.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
My boi suggested I do a cleansing ritual to rid myself of the bagage associated with my last job and my expectations regarding my current job hunt. Her argument is that I can't truly surrender the outcome to the Goddess if I'm still carrying expectations. "Should" can be an evil, debilitating word.
I had surrendered the financial outcomes and the job search to the Goddess. I'd even asked for guidance as to where I'm supposed to be looking, because I have no idea if I'm even searching in the right places. My "second mind", however, was full of thoughts of "it shouldn't be this hard" "you should have found a job by now" "you should have had a job lined up before you quit your old one" and, the ickiest of all "if you had stayed at your old job, you wouldn't have these problems". All sorts of expectations, judgements, failures -- all these underlying assumptions undermining my clarity.
I'm not a ritual practitioner. Lighting incense or a candle, doing a few seconds of visualization or prayer, that's as far as I go. I'm an energy being. I don't know about doing a cleansing ritual. I know that since the conversation with my boi, I've been identifying the root expectations and releasing them. We're both working on cleaning our living space. I may do a smudge tonight just to clear the energy once the housecleaning is done. If I'm still holding on to expectations by the weekend, I might do a visualization to release the remaining assumptions and thought tapes. Or maybe I'll purify with energy rather than releasing. But a "ritual"? It's just not my spiritual path.
posted by DM # @ 09:09
Pieces
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